Ch 45 ~ New Beginnings

By the fifth day of their Caribbean getaway, Dorothea was forced to admit to herself that Rachel really wasn’t going anywhere in the foreseeable future.  Jon’s new love was clearly committed to her relationship with Jon and, more importantly, Dorothea had personally witnessed just how happy Jon was with Rachel.  Happier than she’d seen him in years, actually. 

As a mother, it was time for her to accept Rachel and do it willingly.  Because anytime Jon was happy, that was good for her kids.  And, really, it was all about her kids.

At the moment those kids, along with their father and Ted, were riding jet skis while the ladies lounged on the landing of the chartered yacht.   There had been idle chit chat off and on between them, mostly about the antics of the jet skiers, but now things had fallen silent. 

Dorothea was aware Rachel had been trying to walk softly after the incident on the beach two days before.  Jon’s new girl had apologized profusely for not being more sensitive about Jake and Romeo's births, and had kept her distance ever since.   It had gotten to the point that Dorothea felt a little guilty about the friction and decided to take a stab at mending fences.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been to St. Bart’s before.  You seem to really enjoy it,” she began, mentally waving a white flag of truce.

“Mm.  It’s beautiful here,” Rachel replied, smiling into the sunshine.  “My husband didn’t like to fly much, so that limited things.  Anything beyond Hawaii or Mexico and he wouldn’t have any part of it.”

“And your kids?  You had, two, right?”  At Rachel’s nod of confirmation Dorothea continued. “So your kids were used to Hawaii and Mexico like mine are St. Barts.  Seems like they always want to go back to want they’re used to.”

“Yeah, Nick and Tyler thought the only reason to even go on vacation was to surf.  In their world, surfing meant Hawaii and Lauren and I just went along for the ride.”

While was responding easily and politely enough, she still carried an air of tension.  As though she were on alert and guarding herself. 

Throw the woman a bone.  Regardless of who she is or the emotional baggage you’ve been juggling, this is still her vacation.  She should be able to enjoy it a little. 

“I’m sure you were a wonderful mother,” she offered sincerely.  “The care and attention you’ve always shown my children hasn’t gone unnoticed, and I appreciate it.  Truly.”

Turning her face so that she was looking at Dorothea, Rachel smiled.  “It’s not hard.  You’ve raised some good kids.”

Dorothea hesitated a moment, slightly uncomfortable talking about Rachel’s deceased family, but in the end, her curiosity got the better of her.  Besides, maybe it would help her…  bond with the woman. 

“I’m sure you had good kids, too.”  

“Oh, I did.  No doubt about it,” Rachel agreed, surprisingly more relaxed talking about her children than she had seemed the entire trip.  “They were REALLY good kids.  Especially as babies.  They slept through the night early, were never sick.  Not a minute’s trouble.”

Rachel’s comfort eased Dorothea and the next question slipped out as effortlessly as if she were chatting with an old friend.  “How old were they?”

“Ty was ten and Lauren was almost fifteen, so she was getting into boys and all that.  That was the only thing that could’ve truly driven me nuts.  The boys.”

“I hear you… Steph is about to kill me off with the boys.”

Rachel laughed quietly.  “Funny to imagine that we were like that at one point, isn’t it?  Or at least I was.  I would do just… stupid stuff.”

“I think it’s a rite of passage.”

“Mm.  It’s amazing any of us survive the stupidity of adolescence.”

Now that the conversation floodgates had been opened, so to speak, Dorothea’s innate inquisitiveness took over without conscious thought. 

“And your husband…? Nick, right?”  Rachel nodded.  “Were you happy?”

“We were,” Rachel relayed with a wistful smile.  “He was a good guy.  I remembered him as a saint for the longest time.  As I’ve fallen more in love with Jon, though, it’s becoming easier to recall him as he truly was, rather than the Saint I initially painted him as.  It’s a process, I suppose.”

“Yeah,” Dorothea snorted softly.  “I can relate.  The longer I’m with Ted the easier it is to remember why Jon and I divorced in the first place.  When it first happened, I kept replaying all the good things about our marriage and wondered why I’d broken up my family.”

“Exactly!” Rachel agreed.  “At first you’re in a state of shock – whether it’s divorce or death – and you remember all those incredible moments you shared.  It makes you wonder how you’ll ever live without them.”

“I had that exact thought on more than one occasion,” Dorothea confessed.  “Of course losing your children must have been a completely different situation….”

Rachel considered the comment for a moment and then shook her head with… confusion?  Sadness? It was hard for Dorothea to tell behind her sunglasses.

“Losing your children is the most unnatural thing in the world.  Parents just aren’t supposed to outlive their children.  It goes against the laws of nature.  The immediate future was hard enough to face without Nick, but the long-term ramifications of losing the kids was mind numbing.  There would be no growing up, no getting married, no grandchildren...”  A frown marred her features.  “I’ll never have grandchildren.  That’s still hard to comprehend – old age and no grandchildren.” 

“I wish I could say I understood, but I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it.”

Rachel took a long swallow out of the water bottle she kept at her side and shrugged before continuing.  “And I hope you never have to.  I just remember the overwhelming sensation that –without Nick and the kids – I had no future.  I was just blindly going through life.  Existing.”  Her head dipped toward the man who was hot dogging as he flew by on his jet ski.  “Then Jon came into my life and changed all that.”

“How’d you two meet?” Dorothea inquired, astonished that there wasn’t a twinge of jealousy lurking behind the question.  She really just wanted to know.

Rachel offered a light smile as she drifted into her memories.  “I was trying to push my suitcases through the broken gate of the house I was moving into.  I was hot and sweaty and wondered how on earth I was going to get through the tiny opening.  Jon saved the day when he happened upon me and pushed the gate open wide enough so I could get in.”

“Always the hero,” Dorothea remarked with a grin and a slow shake of her head.

“Yeah, I guess.  We’ve had a few ups and downs, but he’s been good for me, I think.”

“Looks to me like you’ve been good for him, too,” she conceded graciously.  Her ex-husband still annoyed her when he was right.  She did like Rachel and they would probably end up being warm acquaintances if not good friends.  “The kids have really noticed a positive change since you’re back in his life and that positive energy has spread to them.  I’m sure you understand when I say… Well, I’m all about whatever is best for my kids.”

                                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rachel had just put the last of her cosmetics in the suitcase when Jon entered their cabin on the chartered yacht.

“Did you get the boys packed?” she asked over her shoulder as she zipped the luggage closed.

“Yeah.  They’re headed up to the main deck for breakfast.  You about ready to go up?”

“Just let me put on my earrings and we can go.”

It was the last day of their trip, and all were scheduled to fly home to New York together.  Rachel had been able to juggle work enough to allow her to travel home with Jon for a few days, before he left on the next leg of his tour. 

By the time the vacation was wrapping up, Rachel and Dorothea and found an ease with each other than was quite comfortable and natural.  Rachel found she no longer saw Dorothea as the woman who snapped her fingers to beckon Jon.  No, instead she saw Dorothea was a mother who loved her children and wanted to be sure her family remained intact and that her kids maintained a healthy relationship with their father.  Rachel could relate to that and found it easier to see the other side of the coin. 

As far as Rachel was concerned, the amazing thing was that, by the end of the trip, Dorothea seemed to come around to the realization that Jon had a new life with another woman.  She no longer assumed things where her ex-husband was concerned. 

The vacation had been stressful at times, but it had ended up being beneficial to all of them.  It had given them the opportunity to re-evaluate family roles, and to find room in that family for Rachel and Ted.  That made it worth any initial discomfort, in Rachel’s mind.  They’d found a way to be a modern-age family unit that involved more than the classic mother, father and children and that was a monumental accomplishment.  Jon’s kids deserved that as much as they deserved their parents’ love. 

Jon stood behind her as she fastened the diamond studs into place, wrapping his arms around her waist.  “I remember you once described the feeling of the sun as being like an erotic massage all over your body.  So I imagine you’re hating to leave, huh?” 

“Not at all,” she replied.  “I’m really excited to get back to New Jersey for a couple days.   I was just thinking how much it had begun to feel like home.  I loved our routine.  Every night you’d come over to my place and we’d have dinner… it was a normal life.  I miss having that with you.  And now with you being on tour, it’s only more complicated.  I didn’t realize how good we had it back then.”

“You missed it?” he asked, sounding a bit surprised.  “You missed Jersey?”

“Yeah.  New Jersey holds a special place in my heart and, even though my house wasn’t really mine, it felt like our home, yanno?    I was just getting grounded when the house sold, and it was gut-wrenching to leave the place I thought of ours.  But still, it’ll be good to be back at High Point.  I can’t wait to just smell the river in the early morning air.  I loved that.”

“If the weather cooperates, we’ll go down to the dock tonight and have a bottle of wine.  You always enjoyed that.”

“That would be soooo much fun!  And maybe pick up a pizza at Sal’s?”  Rachel’s eyes met his in the mirror, and she could hear the childlike excitement in her own voice.  “My mouth waters just at the thought of a pie from Sal’s.” 

Jon grinned at her and squeezed a little tighter.  “Whatever you want, Rach.  You’ve earned it.  Tonight, my lovely, the world is your oyster.  And who knows?  You might just find a great big beautiful pearl waitin’ for you.”