Ch 51 ~ Family Dinner

The late-evening California sunshine was a beautiful shade of crimson as it slowly slid downward in the sky, its final rays reflecting off the pool’s surface in Robin’s backyard.  Being the latter part of April, the daylight had begun to linger further into the day and she was looking forward to the weeks ahead when the sunshine tarried even longer.

But not as much as I’m looking forward to this dinner being over.

Her facial muscles ached with the forced laughter and smiles she’d put forth during the last two hours.  Not that she didn’t love the time spent with her sister, but Jon’s presence was a continual reminder that Rachel’s life wasn’t where it should be.

She sipped the Pinot Grigio he had presented to her with an over-wide grin and a kiss against her cheek, while Rick animatedly chatted with him about football spring training camps. 

“I don’t know what your deal is, but get over it,” Rachel whispered, leaning close.  “You haven’t spoken half a dozen words to him, and you haven’t said much more to me.”

“Sorry,” she murmured.  “But Mom always said if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Rachel rolled her eyes and huffed quietly.  “You’re being a pain in the ass.”

“Yes,” she acknowledged, putting her near-empty glass on the patio table.  “But it’s for your own good, so suck it up, buttercup.”

Her words had unintentionally gotten a bit louder with that last phrase, catching the attention of the men, who both turned curious gazes on her.  She called her forced smile into service once again and stood, sweeping up plates that had been emptied of their grilled fish, vegetables and rice pilaf. 

“Don’t mind me, guys.  I’m just going to clean up.”

Rachel immediately stood, saying, “I’ll help you.”

The words had no more left her mouth when Jon also stood, shaking his head with a smile and waving her away.  “Sit down and relax, honey.  I’ll help Robin.  I am practically a professional dishwasher, after all.”

He began scooping up the serving dishes, even as Rachel hesitated with her hand hovering over her wineglass.  “No, I think – ”

“Relax, Rachel,” Robin interrupted with a sarcastic snort over her shoulder.  “There’s only one of me.  How much trouble could he possibly get into?”

It was just as well that she missed the reassuring wink he gave Rachel before following Robin into the kitchen with his arms full of serving dishes.    She would have just been annoyed.  As it was, she still had to bite her lip to keep from saying something far bitchier than she should. 

Honestly, she didn’t hate the guy.  In other circumstances, she would think it was pretty cool that her sister was in a relationship with a rock star.  Hell, she still thought it was pretty cool, but that didn’t make it right for her sister.  And if it wasn’t right for her sister, she wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.

Jon set the bowls and platters into the sink and leaned back against the counter, arms crossed.  “You’re pissed at me, I get that,” he began.

“Pissed at you?” she interjected over the sink’s running water.  “You think I’m pissed at you?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am, as a matter of fact.”  The water cut off with a firm slap of the faucet handle.  “But not for your stupid teenage horndog antics, which you should be smacked upside the head for on sheer principle.”

“That’s really none of your business, but if it will make you feel better and clear the air between us…”  He offered his cheek and, in the process, earned a grudging brownie point in Robin’s book.  “Then go ahead.”

“Argh,” she grumbled and dumped the silverware in the dishwater, unable to come up with a better response on the spur of the moment.  She was tempted.  Sorely tempted. 

“No?”  His cheek edged forward one more time before he withdrew it.  “Well then can we put this behind us and get along?  If for no other reason than for Rachel’s sake, if that’s what it takes?”

“That’s exactly why I have no desire to get along with you.  For Rachel’s sake.”

He sighed with frustration and, for once, she didn’t feel bad about being a stereotypical woman that bumfuzzled a man’s simple little mind with vague statements.  She had been up late worrying about this for more nights than she could count.  Robin felt she was entitled to bust his balls a little. 

She was almost disappointed when he didn’t take the bait and try and pin her cryptic comment down.  Instead he took the high road. 

Dammit.  He was a decent guy. 

“Your sister and I have settled things between us and she’s happy.  I think that’s the most important thing, isn’t it?  To me and you both?”  When her only response was to rinse out a glass, he prodded.  “C’mon, Robin, you can see she’s happy, right?”

Mercifully, the glass didn’t break when she used an extra heavy hand to put it in the dish drainer.  If it had, she would’ve paid it no mind, because she was more focused on fixing Jon Bon Jovi with narrowed eyes and words that were double-dipped in sarcasm.  “You mean because she’s not in a straightjacket?  Yeah, that’s real progress.”

“She’s fine.  We both had a rough few months when she left New Jersey but all that’s water under the bridge.”

Of course he thought it was all about him.  He’d come in and dug his backside out of the hole he’d dug and now thought everything should be hunky dory. 

“I don’t know if you’re so arrogant because you’re famous, or that’s just part of being a man, but not everything is about you, yanno.  Rachel has her own issues outside of your stupidity and your presence is allowing her to pretend they don’t exist.  Again.”

His jaw ticked with the first sign that he was anything other than completely relaxed and at ease, but his voice remained perfectly subdued when responding, “I can hardly be faulted for feeling like I need to defend myself, because you didn’t seem to have a problem with me before the breakup.  Now I’m the bad guy?”

Okay, that one made her feel a little guilty.  Like she was kicking a lame dog because he was convenient.  Or something. 

Robin sighed and wiped her hands on a dishtowel.  “Jon, I realize you’re not a bad guy.  When the two of you first got involved I supported it because it was good to see some spark of life back in her.  But that didn’t change the fact that she wasn’t really coming to terms with the grief over the loss of her family.  She just found a more interesting reason to ignore it.”

“I disagree,” he countered with a firm shake of his head.  “Listen, I know you’re protective of her because she’s your baby sister.  I have kid brothers so I can relate, but Rachel is a very strong woman – stronger than you give her credit for.”

She rolled her eyes so far toward the ceiling, they may very well have stuck there.  “Good or bad, you seriously don’t have the first clue what you’re talking about when it comes to Rachel’s demons.”

“I know she’s happy that we’ve committed to each other and a life together.   Happier than I’ve ever seen her and, I don’t care whether you think I’m arrogant or not, she wasn’t gonna find that with anybody but me.  Certainly not with that dipshit James.”

Oh great.  Now it’s not only all about him, it’s a pissing contest with James.

Unfortunately for Jon, Robin happened to respect James.

“Yeah well, ‘that dipshit James’ at least acknowledges that Rachel has baggage she needs to work through.  In fact, James was the one who finally got her on the right path, dealing with the death of her kids and husband in a healthy way.  You’re –“ She pointed an accusatory finger right at his nose.  “ – content to pretend they never existed and live in denial right alongside her.”

“That’s not true at all,” Jon countered with unexpected gentleness and a flicker of what might be pain in his eyes. “I realize she had a life and a family before me and I know she’ll never be free of that pain.  But I can’t change any of the past and neither can she.  We can only build a life from here.”

His soft-spoken demeanor took the starch out of her panties and Robin took a step back and studied the man who supposedly loved her sister.  If he loved her, and was in a committed relationship with Rachel, then he should want what was best for her.  Maybe he really didn’t understand the situation here.  Maybe it was as simple as Robin pointing it out.

She had nothing to lose in trying, because it seemed that – no matter her opinion – Jon and Rachel were together.  This might at least relieve some of her worry.

“Do you realize she’s never visited their graves?” she inquired of him somberly.  When he silently shook his head, she continued. “Do you know that Lauren and Tyler’s rooms haven’t been touched since they died?  The sheets on their beds are the same ones they crawled out of the morning of the accident.”

“And you think she should… what?  Remodel?  Redecorate?”

“No,” Robin denied sadly.  “I think she should admit to herself they’re never coming home again.  She can’t accept their deaths, Jon – or Nick’s.  And until she can do more than go through the motions, she has no business starting a new life – with you or anybody else.”