Ch 81 ~ Home For Christmas

It really is the most wonderful time of the year, Rachel marveled as the crisp December air chilled her nose.  Having Jon’s hand wrapped snugly around hers as they strolled Main Street in Red Bank felt better than anything had in the weeks they’d been apart.  Call her crazy – or stupid – but ever since the reporter incident, she actually felt closer to him.  Odd to think that a near-indiscretion could do that for a relationship, but the way she chose to look at it, a man who would come to you admitting that he desired another woman could – and would – come to you with anything.

There was something undeniably appealing to her about that.

That’s why, from the moment they’d reunited in New Jersey three days ago, everything just… clicked.  Possibly tighter than it ever had before.  There was no awkwardness or adjustment period before they got comfortable again, and being together was more natural than breathing for both of them.  Jon had even remarked about how good it felt not to have to think or try to be on when they were together, but to have the comfort just to “be”. 

She loved that, and she was going to revel in the “being” for the few short weeks they had before life once again forced another challenging separation upon them. 

And “being”, in this moment, involved blithely pretending that she was in one of those Hallmark Channel Christmas specials as she strolled down the picturesque street with her lover after a quiet Christmas Eve dinner.  Downtown Red Bank was packed with last minute shoppers, and they’d had to park further away than expected, but she didn’t mind the walk in the least. The scene was beyond charming as the twinkling holiday lights danced along the old-fashioned streets, seeming as excited as she was to usher in her very favorite holiday. 

She didn’t know if the lights were particularly bright here in Jon’s part of the world, or if the world just seemed brighter in general this year.  It was the first Christmas in recent memory that hadn’t had a dark cloud of sadness hanging over it, and she was easily happier than she’d been on this holiday since Nick and the children had died.

The only thing that could make her Christmas better would be snow.  The weather here was cold and crisp, a sharp contrast to Christmas in California where temperatures in the 60’s or even 70’s were common during December, but the skies so far had been clear and cloudless with no sign of snow in sight.  As a California girl who had been hoping for a white Christmas, Rachel was disappointed beyond words.

“Earth to Rachel,” Jon’s voice came like a fabric softener commercial, interrupting her Hallmark Channel special.

“What, baby?” she answered, smiling up into his face.  It didn’t matter.  He was the hotter than any of those Christmas movie actors, anyway.  That’s probably why there wasn’t any snow – he radiated too much heat. 

“I was asking if you wanted to stop in a get a cupcake at that shop you like so well?  It’s just a block up.”

“Oh,” she murmured, twisting her eyebrows thoughtfully.  She was still awfully full from dinner, but those cupcakes were to die for.  Should she….?  “No.  Unless you want to.”

“We have cookies at home.  I got no interest in cupcakes.” 

The man loved his cookies, and this was one of the very few times of the year that he cut loose enough to enjoy them.  The day after Christmas, he would be back on the treadmill banishing the extra calories away until next year. 

“Rachel…?  Where’d you go?  I feel like I’ve been talkin’ to myself since we left the restaurant.”

Jon’s nose was red from the cold and as Rachel tucked her hand into the crook of his arm she thought he was the most beautiful man she’d ever laid eyes on.  The pressure of touring was temporarily at bay and he was relaxed, thrilled to be home for the holidays.  It was rare that he didn’t have his mind on something, and when he was completely unwound, Jon was a different man.

The guy whose arm she clutched tighter was more playful, more sexy, more….Jon.

“Christmas Past,” she finally answered.  “I went to Christmas past for just a minute.  Sorry about that.”

“You thinkin’ about Lauren and Tyler?  And Nick, of course?”

“They’re a little more on my mind than they might normally be, but that’s not what I meant.  Just now I was thinking about last Christmas, and how miserable it was without you.  Or, more accurately, how miserable I was without you.  That emptiness was almost unbearable,” she confessed.  “I met you and you swept me off my feet, making me feel alive again, only to find myself back down that rabbit hole of despair when we went our separate ways.  It seemed unspeakably cruel to find happiness again and have it snuffed out again so quickly.”

Jon nodded and blew out a breath, “Yeah, it wasn’t a banner year back here, either.  I had dinner with the kids and then came back to your house, where I drank myself to sleep on your couch.”

No matter how miserable she had been, the visual he’d just painted was enough to make her feel sorrier for him than she had for herself.  It was heartbreaking, really.

“Oh, my poor baby,” Rachel stopped on the sidewalk and twined her arms around his scarf-wrapped neck, looking up into his eyes at just the same instant that a single snowflake appeared from nowhere and landed on his eyelash.  “But because of your unwavering belief in us, look where we are now, Jonny.  Last year at this time, I couldn’t have even dreamed that I was only weeks away from you walking back into my life and kicking down my door.”

“Literally,” he laughed, clasping his hands together at the small of her back.  “Well, actually, I did have a key.  I think your subconscious knew I’d be back and you better not have changed those locks.”

Whatever her subconscious thought then, right now it commanded Rachel to lever up on tip-toe just far enough to capture his lips, the warmth from her heart spilling into the kiss that couldn’t possibly get her close enough to him, even as her bare fingers stroked the hair over his ears and his tongue slipped into her mouth.  Time stood still even as the world shook just a little bit on its axis, as it did every time he kissed her.  If she didn’t know better, she’d think she was back in California and this was a 2.3 shimmy on the Richter scale. 

When the Richter settled back down to zero, and their lips gradually drifted apart, Rachel sought the depth of his eyes and spoke as earnestly from the heart as she ever had.  “My beautiful, stubborn man….  I am grateful every single day that you wouldn’t take no for an answer.  You’ve made me happier than I could ever have dared dream, and I’m so proud to be yours.”

Jon tenderly swept a new snowflake off of her cheek and dusted her lips with a kiss that was lighter than his whisper.  “You sound like you might really love me, huh, Rach?”

He didn’t do romantic.  They didn’t constantly do ‘I love you’ until it had no more meaning than a fortune cookie.  When they said the words, they counted and he was telling her now that this counted.  Big time. 

Her eyes filled almost to the point of overflowing before she reminded herself to breathe. 

“I do.”

And in the millisecond it took him to snort like a hyena, the romance bubble popped audibly and was followed by Jon’s eyes lifting to the now snow-littered sky.  The intensity was broken when Jon pulled back with eyes raised to the sky.  “Lord, God, Jesus!  Am I dreamin’??  Because I sure as hell thought I’d never hear you say those two little words to me.  Now that I know you can do it, whaddaya say we go and say ‘em in front of somebody official?  A Christmas Eve wedding would guarantee I’d never forget our anniversary – or New Year’s Eve.  That’d be a fun way to wrap up the year.”

Rachel laughed when his man-ness would’ve hurt most women’s feelings, and that was part of the reason they worked so well together.   She may not exactly speak his language, but she could read his mind well enough to compensate.  For him – and her – love wasn’t about hearts, roses and diamonds.  Okay, maybe it was a little bit about diamonds, but still…  It was more about who was still standing after hearts had been broken and roses had pierced you with their thorns.  That’s who they were.  They were the ones still standing, side by side.

“You’re not fooling me, Mr. Businessman,” she informed him with a twinkle in her eye that easily matched his.  You don’t want a wife, you want to rack up another write-off for your taxes.  You’re looking for a tax write off, aren’t you, lover.”

“I can honestly say that never crossed my mind,” he chuckled, tucking her in close to his side and moving once again toward the car.  “But now that you mention it, a guy can never have too many write-offs.”

“Asshole,” Rachel scolded him affectionately, smiling as the snow began to fall in earnest.  “You’re only after me for my brain and the deduction I bring to the party.”

As they approached the SUV, Jon unlocked the doors and boldly cupped her denim clad backside as she stepped up and into the vehicle.  “I won’t deny your brain is one of the things I love about you, Rach, but if I had to pick one part to ‘only’ be after…  Well, it’s really your boobs.  Have I ever mentioned –“

“Yeah, yeah.  I know.  You love my boobs.  Same song, different key.  Close the door and get the car started so we can have a little heat, will ya?”

As Jon made his way around the back of the SUV and climbed in the driver’s side, he wore a contented smile and a liberal dusting of snow on his hair and shoulders. 

I guess that wasn’t an earthquake I felt earlier.  It must’ve been somebody shaking the snowglobe.

The realization was enough to place a smile on Rachel’s face that matched the contentment in Jon’s.  She snuggled back into the seat as he revved the engine and flipped the switch for the seat warmers. 

“Rach?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“I’m a happy guy.”  A flick of his wrist had the wiper blades swishing away the layer of moisture on the windshield.  “Home for the holidays with the people I cherish most.  Lucky enough to find true love for a second time in my life.  Lotsa guys don’t have it this good.”

“Good to know you appreciate what you have.”

“I do.”  He nodded, then slanted his eyes in her direction with that one eyebrow kicking up knowingly.  “And knowing that I have so much when other guys aren’t so fortunate…  Well, that’s the only reason I’m lettin’ your ass slide on this marriage thing.  Again.  But don’t think I’m gonna do it forever, ‘cause that ain’t happenin’.  Capisce?”

Okay, so there may be a little – big – part of Rachel that found his persistence and determination a huge turn on.  On an idyllically shared evening that fell on what was arguably one of the most magical nights of the year, she even briefly entertained the notion of becoming Mrs. Bongiovi by imagining a diamond band snugged up next to her obscene ‘commitment’ ring. 

She may have changed the subject when he brought up marriage again, but she simply didn’t have it in her to tell him he was wasting his time by continuing to do so.  After all, hadn’t she just told him how his stubborn persistence was responsible for her happiness today?  Maybe the man knew what he was doing.

She had to at least entertain the notion.  Right?

“Capisce.”